What sympathy gift should I order?

Choosing the proper sympathy gift is determined by your relationship with the deceased and where it will be sent.

Funeral Home:
Casket Spray – spouse, parent, or children
Inside casket pieces – grandchildren or great grandchildren
Bleeding heart – spouse or children

Other people close to the deceased should consider a standing spray or standing basket. Distant relatives, coworkers, neighbors, and friends should consider planters, or table pieces. Other options include a concrete stepping stone or afghan. Callings are usually long days for family members, so another option is a nice gift basket. If the deceased was a member of a lodge or other fraternal organization, you might consider a standing piece in the shape of the organization’s symbol.

Placement of flowers is done by the funeral director, who follows the wishes of the family. Generally, the funeral director will place the flowers from family members and close friends nearest the casket and work outward from there. Do not be upset by the placement of your flowers as mistakes are often made. Family members do not always convey their wishes to the funeral director and the funeral director may not ask.

Home:
If you are sending a gift to the family’s home avoid sending a standing easel or wreath, as these items do not have an adequate supply of water to survive long at home. Generally any other option mentioned above is fine. You will want to make sure the family will be home on the day you schedule delivery and not out of town attending the funeral service or taking care of business related to the deceased’s passing.

The obituary reads that in lieu of flowers to donate money to a charity. What should I do?

The best thing to do is to try to honor the family’s wishes, but that is not always possible. It is still acceptable to send flowers and you will not be the only one sending them. Obviously, the family prefers a donation, but they realize that it is not possible for everyone to follow their preference. Your flowers will be appreciated and convey your caring message.